An Important Lesson Learned

I learned an important lesson last night. Doctors and nurses are smart, educated, caring people. But....they cannot and do not see everything. I learned: 

1) I must educate myself. 

2) I must ask questions. 

3) I must not rely on them completely. 

4) I must be an advocate for myself and my loved ones. 

My father has been in Mayo Clinic - one of the most respected hospitals in the country - for 4 days. Yesterday, I found that my father's leg was swollen twice its size. It turns out he had a "very large blood clot" in his leg. He had to have a screen put in his vein immediately. No one else had checked his legs. I hope this experience and the lesson that I learned will help someone else.

Angela

So...I begin.

So...I begin.  I have thought about publishing a blog for a long time.  I wondered what I might have to say that people would be interested in.  Now I find that I need to write. Not so much for other people, but for the therapeutic benefit of writing.  I find the need to express my thoughts in order to comprehend and deal with them.  Two weeks ago today, Tuesday March 19, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer - unfortunately a very aggressive form of the cancer.  In my life, my family has been very blessed in that we have never had to deal with a life threatening illness. We must have good genes.  My mom was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis several years ago.  That was very stressful because it took a very long time to have her illness diagnosed and then under control.  But this...  At age 51, I was not prepared to hear my father tell me that he has cancer.  I live in Maryland and my parents live in Florida so we were talking over FaceTime.  We can see each other and had recently adopted this form of communication because my dad thinks the technology is neat, and I like to be able to see my parents.  My immediate reaction was shock...followed by a deep sadness...then panic.  I had to get there.  I had to see him.  As it was I was planning to fly to Florida the upcoming Monday to visit for a week.  I agonized...needing to get there but aware of the possibility that my parents might need time to process this shock together as a couple...but also knowing that I could help them with the many things that needed to be done.  I wanted to help...transport my dad to Mayo in Jacksonville, cook, clean, support him and my mom...spend time with my dad.  After rushing to get my affairs in order and set things up in my home so that my husband would not have an additional burden by having things to do that I usually do, in addition to his normal long and stressful day, I started driving to St. Augustine on Thursday March 21.

Since getting to St. Augustine, my visit has been very different than past visits.  In good weather  I
would usually go to the beach every day with my dad.  We would take a lunch and a couple of brews and sit on the beach...one of my day's favorite things to do.  He would treat me to his wonderful food, he is an excellent cook!  We would feast on his handmade pizza, "better than Danny's hoagies", "better than Wholey's fish sandwich", "better than O'Steen's fresh Mayport shrimp", handmade bread, and many "gourmet" (pronounced "gor-met"!) meals from his treasure trove of  recipes which he finds and then tweaks - "a la Nate" - from reading many cooking magazines, watching a variety of cooking shows, and perusing his library of recipe books.  He has been tweaking his pizza recipe for more than 30 years!  I am free to roam the beaches and state and national parks to practice my passion - photographing nature.  There is usually lots of libations, laughing and food.  This visit, my dad has gone with me to the beach for about an hour and then he had to go home.  He has been in a lot of pain and needs to use the restroom frequently.  I just can't bring myself to leave the house unless I am transporting dad to the hospital, shopping for food or doing an errand.  I am happy to spend my time at the house with my parents.  I try to do whatever needs to be done.  The house is pretty quiet.  When dad laughs it is noticed.

So, I do have something to say after all.  This is a start...

Thanks for "listening".

Keep it in the road,

Angela

Other things I want to talk about:

• The first chance Dad has to talk to me alone..."I'm worried about your mother."
• Alone on the porch he tells me, unsolicited about "The highlight of his career."
• The photograph
• Dad says "I'm worried..."
• Dad's Sad face
• Seeing my grandfather when he sleeps